Sometimes Self Care Sucks

I really love that self care is becoming popular, don’t get me wrong. As it becomes this cute, soft pink aesthetic thing to do, people are more willing to practice self care and self love. But self care can’t all be painting your nails and “binge watching Netflix”. That’s the big phrase now, you see it on self care guides everywhere, your therapist says it, your mom says it. Look, I was binge watching television back when it was called depression And it is great to do nice things for yourself, it is great to take a day off and just relax but relaxation and self care are not the same things. Sometimes self care isn’t just that picture that you instagrammed sitting cross legged in fuzzy socks and drinking tea. Sometimes self care isn’t cute. Especially when you have got a nice ol’ case of depression or *insert any other mental illness here* self care has to be a fight. It has to be you getting your ass out of bed despite every force in the universe cementing your body to it, it has to be shoving stale wheat thins in your mouth because even though you don’t care enough to put food in your body, it needs it. Sometimes self care is getting the fucking assignment in on time because you are in school for a reason and goddamn it if you let your health take that away from you. It is washing dishes, sheets, or your own body after neglecting them and letting the filth grow. Sometimes self care has to be breaking down and asking for help even when it is the last thing that you want to do. Having those days off are great, we all need to have days dedicated to relaxing but no amount of staring at succulents and draping your room in string lights is gonna fix your shit. Sometimes self care isn’t cute but it is crucial that we do it anyway.